Life/Work
Balance; it's a conscious decision
I don't know why so many articles on life/work
balance seem to focus on people who suddenly
decide they've had it with working all the
time and within one hour quit their job,
buy a yacht or a jet, grab their family
or their best friends or their dog and travel
the world for a year or two. They then get
touted as the role model for the rest of
us who either like our work, can't leave
right now, or just want to enjoy life at
home. Besides, being in balance is more
than just what you do with your time, its
also how you feel and think all of the time.
The
reality is that wherever you go you take
yourself with you. I can go to the woods
for a week to meditate, but if I've never
meditated, or gained some inner peace or
learned to be happy with who I am rather
than what I do, I'll go up to the woods
and count the minutes until I can leave
or find some way to distract myself from
myself.
Life
balance is more than how we spend our time,
its also how we feel about that time and
how present we are each moment. It doesn't
always take one major event to want to change
or to know something is not right for you.
It's often a series of things.
I've
studied the subject, changed my unbalanced
ways and eliminated some major stresses,
and there are still times when I know I
need to slow down and reassess my priorities.
In
this article I feature four people from
very different backgrounds who realized
they needed to jump off the never-ending
treadmill of stress and overload, and make
some concrete changes. These are four people
who found different ways of achieving life/work
balance without sailing the seas or flying
the skies for a year.
Conscious
Change
Ross Pike has been managing partner of Diversified
Maintenance Systems, a facilities management
company for the last year and a half. When
I interviewed him, he was calm, and focused.
I learned that he wasn't always this way.
There were times in the past when he didn't
take the time he wanted with his family,
and when he did, he was often tied to his
Blackberry. Before I was with Diversified
Maintenance, I was Division President for
another organization. I was responsible
for over 7,000 employees. I had no personal
time It was always the customers time. My
day started early and ended late. I had
to keep up with east and west coast time."
I
was a hamster on a treadmill, always working,
and always tired. I needed to make a change.
I decided to be open to new opportunities
where I could go home every night and spend
real time with my wife. Soon after a colleague
one of the owners of Diversified Maintenance,
called. When his friend told him they were
seeking an additional partner for their
company, and asked Ross for recommendations,
Ross suggested himself. Within six weeks
he had left his old job as Division President
of a national organization and became an
equity partner of a much smaller organization.
I left people that I really liked, and
took a big cut in my annual salary, but
I get to see my wife every night. I also
get to spend more time with customers and
less time with so much paper work. I was
constantly tired and could barely stay awake
until ten. Now I enjoy staying up with my
wife and watching Boston Legal until eleven.
I go to the gym now and take long walks,
and my wife is happy because she can give
me a longer to-do list.
Balanced
and Beaming
Catalina Ganis is Executive Vice President
and Managing Director of Elliot Executive
Source Ltd. and Senior Vice President of
Elliot Associates Inc., divisions of The
Elliot Group LLC, a nationally recognized
executive search firm specializing in the
Hospitality, Food Service, Manufacturing,
Distribution and Retail Service Industries.
Catalina helps spearhead client development,
long range strategic planning and is also
responsible for managing senior level executive
search assignments. She is the chairperson
of the Multicultural Foodservice and Hospitality
Alliance. Catalina has been active with
the Organization of Chinese Americans (OCA)
Westchester Chapter in New York and the
Chinese School of Southern Westchester.
She is married and has three children After
speaking with her it was clear to me that
she and her family know how to work together
as a team and support each other in developing
a good life balance.
Before
she worked at Elliot Associates, Catalina
worked in the hotel industry where she was
on call 24 hours a day. We worked too many
hours and the wrong hours. I knew that I
needed to change how I was working. Now,
I have the luxury of being able to work
at home when I want. I make my own schedule
and the work always gets done. It's important
to me that I am able to spend time with
my family. When I travel I make sure that
I take flights that allow me to see my children
either in the morning or at night (I will
leave the house at 4 am to make that early
morning flight so I can be home by 8pm that
same day). The work I have now also enables
me to be involved in my children's classes
and activities. Her parents and sister
help her, and she and her husband support
each other. In order to have a good balance
in our lives it is crucial that we learn
to let go of things we can't control and
to not waste time complaining about the
decisions we make." "I also made
a conscious decision to take a position
with an organization and people with whom
I share a similar mindset and values and
where I am able to be flexible After all,
I want to attend my kids practices and sports
games (its not just for them, I need to
do it for me). I learned to be realistic
about what I can do with my time, so we
eat a lot in different restaurants. I don't
have to spend time cooking and our whole
family can enjoy our meals together. I know
I'm in balance now because I can sleep at
night."
From
Solo to Stability
Lia Shigemura has been the diversity director
of ABM for a little over 6 months. While
some people leave the corporate environment
for their own business in order to gain
a better life balance, Lia gave up her own
successful business to get back into corporate
life. "I loved having my own business
and due to hard work and good fortune, I
was very successful. Much of that success,
however, meant that I was constantly marketing
myself and selling. The cycle was unending
and relentless. When I wasn't with a client
or in meetings, I was on the phone. Life
planning became difficult as I found that
I often placed my clients' need over my
own."
"I
had been vaguely contemplating working within
an organization for a while, but hadn't
begun a serious job search when a former
colleague, who had recently been hired by
ABM Industries, asked if I was interested
in applying for a challenging position as
director of diversity, inclusion and training.
I saw it as a terrific opportunity to become
involved in the ground-up development of
such important company strategies and initiatives.
With the work I do now I can help create
change that will positively benefit 75,000
people and their families. The scope of
my position is tremendous and offers many
opportunities. And the energy that I used
to devote to marketing and selling (and
worrying) is now better spent on productive
aspects of work that I much more enjoy."
Lia
misses some of her international travel
she likes not living on airplanes, and gets
to spend more time at home and on vacation
with her partner of 14 years, Helen Zia.
"I can now sign up for classes like
yoga that are more than one session because
I have a better idea of my schedule.. I
can actually relax and be more present with
my partner. This is a wonderful journey."
When
I spoke with Lia, I knew she was serious
about this because she was on her way to
Carmel, California to relax for a week by
the water.
Taking
Flight at Fifty
Marcie Lee Thomas is a principal consultant
for HCMS Group, Inc. (Human Capital Management
Services), a health information company.
She loves what she does which is developing
educational programs and managing client
accounts. Since I began working for the
founders and principals of HCMS (over 11
years ago), my life is a lot more balanced.
I work with people who share the same philosophy
and who treat people as assets and not as
liabilities. Our clients also agree with
our philosophy. I didn't feel that way in
other work environments. Before Marcie
worked with HCMS staff she worked for a
county agency that provided health care
programs for county employees.
We
were expending our intellectual capital,
but received no recognition for our good
work. There was no mechanism for employee
appreciation or recognition. We provided
for the care of others without receiving
care for ourselves. It was stressful, and
I always felt responsible for outcomes even
without the necessary control to effect
change. I wasn't fulfilled workwise and
I realized that I was not in balance with
who I was as a person. Marcie went on to
tell me she was contemplating leaving but
hadn't made any moves until I saw someone
get shot outside of the building where I
worked. That was the moment when I said
that all the benefits, job security and
retirement were not worth the stress, nor
could those things help me feel better about
my job. She was fifty years old when she
embarked on a new career. Other people told
her it made no sense to leave her county
position at that age and couldn't believe
that she would take that risk. From the
minute I started working with the principals
here, my stress began to lift. I finally
felt that I was valued for my contributions
and for the results I achieved. When I
asked her what she did outside of work she
replied "I love to travel especially to
Europe and Hawaii. I love visiting Paris.
I exercise, dance, read, attend classes,
and take time to go on spiritual/personal
growth retreats. I used to take vacations
to get a break from stress, but it was still
there when I went back to work. Now, I'm
feeling in balance when I start my vacation
and I'm still in balance when I return."
All
four people Marci, Lia, Catalina and Ross
are very different from each other but they
all knew they were working too much, too
hard and not getting what they needed to
balance their personal and professional
lives. Lia left her own business to work
for a large corporation, and Ross left a
large organization to become managing partner
of a much smaller business. Catalina and
Marci both knew that they needed more flexibility
to put their life in balance, pursue other
interests and feel in control of their time.
Each person made a conscious decision to
make a change, and be open to new opportunities.
As we enter a new year, take an assessment
of what you do and how you live your life.
Do you complain about your job, relationships,
or lack of personal time? As you assess
your life, if you find any areas that you
don't like, make a conscious choice to change
and be open and willing to try new opportunities.
Don't wait, start today.
Simma
Lieberman is a consultant, author and speaker
who helps organizations create more profitable
cultures. She specializes in Diversity and
Inclusion, Gender Communication and Power
Living. Contact Simma to help your organization
and the people in it be more successful.
Simma Lieberman, 1-510-527-0700, http://www.SimmaLieberman.com
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